Saturday, March 15, 2008

Hmmm. A Good Question

   
Hmmm.  A question from my last entry I think I should address.
 
I was asked if Rene completes my life then why would I need a third wheel like Heather?
 
I have to say that I hardly consider my friend Heather a third wheel, whether it be in romance or anything else.  I can say that my life was a long way from being complete some three or four years ago.  At that point I was working in a bank at a job that wasn't fulfilling and I had a boyfriend at the time that turned out to be a cheater.  In fact, I walked in on him with his new found love in our bed.  That ended our relationship on the spot.  Believe me, that was absolutely no fun and it really pained me to the core inside and emotionally I was pretty much a wreck, though I tried hard on the outside to pretend that I was unaffected.
                        
Since then, I was reunited with Rene after several years of not seeing him.  He enlisted and was in Iraq for a time.  We had grown apart and I really don't know why.  Rene was my first love going back to Junior High School.  He was the first man I had ever made love to.  Then, somehow, we drifted apart by the end of our Senior year in High school.  I really did miss him and there was an emptiness inside.
 
I didn't have a whole lot of friends in those days either.  That brings me to Heather.  I met her a few years ago when I decided to go back to college and complete my education so I could get myself into a career I found fulfilling and something that I felt I could make a difference in.  We hit it off from day one.  We did so many things together.  I never had a friend like her before and I am pretty sure that she had never known friendship like I was showing her either.  So I guess you can say we were joined at the hip for a while then. 
 
Our relationship has grown through the years and has gotten closer and closer while I had a relationship renaissance with Rene.  I don't throw my true friends under the bus for anything and Rene was aware of that.  What I hadn't expected was that I would end up having a physical relationship with Heather along with the closeness true friendship brings.  I have kind of stated this in the past so I am going to come right out and say it now.  I now consider myself bisexual.  Rene is aware of this and we have been able to work through this and even incorporate it into our lives.  I think at this point I would be lost without either of them in my life.  They both complete me.  They both help to shape who and what I am today, as well as keep my grounded.  I love them both on so many levels.
                        
Romance comes in many shapes and forms.  I guess you can say that I like my cake and I eat it too.  I'm not asking for anyone to morally agree with my lifestyle.  You either accept an individual for who they are or you don't.  I have a belief of live and let live.  I never try to be judgmental about anyone and their situation.  I choose to make LOVE my primary life's goal.  Love, happiness, faith, friendship, being positive, smiling and just going with the flow has been my life for several years now. 
 
I have grown, learned about who and what I am, and have accepted it.  I hope that all of you understand that and like me for who I am.  I do care about all of you that choose to come here and read what I have to say and leave comments.  I read them all, and I appreciate each and everyone of them and you for taking the time out of your day, and to care enough to be here with your heart and to grace my life with your presence.
                        
Ok, I think I won't go on and on.  I do hope that this answers the question and that maybe all of you know me a little better now.  I hope you will all have the most enjoyable of weekends and always keep a smile on your face because it is infectious. 
 
Luv ya!  Ta Ta For Now!

12 comments:

brandilynneliz said...

Allison, if someone doesn't accept you for who you are then they can go ahead and suck some monkey balls! : ) I think about you often and read as much as I can (which is a lot lately btw lol). I'm glad you know who you are and glad things are working out well for you.

Hugs
Brandi

cherry2sweet2eat said...

If I didnt except you for the shit you do i wouldnt be reading. i just didnt understand i could never see myself loving a woman and loving a man thats to much damn luv that i dont have lol let alone trying to keep tabs on both i can't pimp like that. My boyfriend wants a threesome and i say no no all the possibilities of the other woman running off with your man and leaves you with nothing. Does rene have a relationship with Heather too or just You? Do You love one more than the other? How do you balance the relationship? I hear More about heather than Rene. Okay im done with my police investigation lol. I believe i gave you some more to write about. :) im going to the movies with my date i been through hell with reece wait until you read about it.

gazker said...

Wow, I thought you were a great young lady, now I now you are amazing! In society as a whole, it's easier to be 'gay' or 'straight'. I could be wrong, but from what I here and read, we are a little more accepting in the UK, about things like that than in the US. Saying that though, I have never had any negative comments on my blog from any readers in the US. Now to admit you are 'bi sexual' takes a lot more guts. Most people think of lipstick lesbians in porno films with fat lips and big tits. No one ever thinks of a normal young woman or a man. You Alison have gone up in my estimations as you have the guts to talk about your sexuality.
What ever you choose to do in bed is your business and no one elses and to have a man that loves you for what you are is even better.
Keep well across the pond and if you choose to write more about this, so be it. If you don't that's also ok.
Gaz xxxx

lisa41076 said...

Allison, I  am so proud of you, You know I will always accept you no matter what, you are an amazing person and friend and Heather and Rene are both lucky to have you in thier lives, Love Ya Lisa

imgr8phil said...

Baby girl, you have my complete support.  Knowing you as I do I find you to be one of the nicest people I know.  You are so genuine and caring and whatever it is you do is alright by me.  Your happiness is what is important.  I love you no matter what.  Have a, as you say, Happy weekend!

Phil

johhnw said...

Knowing you over the past few years as I have, you know that I know you and I understand you, well..   some.  lol     But I do appreciate your openness here and am glad you have opened up.   I still love you for the person you are and I hope our friendship will continue in the years ahead.     :)     J

monicasmemoirs said...

Well Allison, I'm fairly new to your journal ... actually I'm real new to your journal!  I've never let a persons sexual preferences orientation decide if I like or don't like a person.  What I look for is how the person treats others - now that is important to me.

I can say something, I can relate to an experience you had.  I walked in on my boyfriend and roommate having sex.  Here my bf at the time was talking about committment and I walked in on that!  You can pretend it doesn't matter, that you are fine.  Like you, I wasn't even though I tried to pull off that I was all cool.

Anyway, I'm glad I'm getting to know you.

Monica

ktkamanski said...

It's your heart I follow and what you choose to share with all of us that keeps your reads interesting.  Hoping your week ahead is good to you and yours. Take care,
Katie

sauermanrichard said...

Dear Ally, FIRST TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE, IDON'T THINK EVEN GOD WOULD OR COULD CARE LESS ABOUT YOUR SEXUAL ACTIVITIES! YOU ARE A TRULY A HEART WARMING PERSON AND THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT OF ANY VALUES ONE MIGHT HAVE! LIVE YOUR LIFE AS IT MAKES YOU HAPPY ,ONLY YOU WILL BE ABLE TO DECIDE IF YOU"VE LIVED A LIFE WITHOUT REGRETS IF YOU LET OTHERS DICTATE HOW AND WITH WHOM YOU SHARE YOUR LOVE! IT IS UP TO EACH OF US TO DO WHAT MAKES US HAPPY AND WE HOPE OTHERS WILL REJOICE IN OUR HAPPINESS.    ENJOY IT ALLL BEAUTIFUL LADY! YOU ARE TRULY A GIFT TO ALL! XOXOX

photolay2008 said...

I am proud of you for standing up for yourself...and most of all....being YOURSELF. You keep that up...and in the end you will have lived a happy and fulfilling life 'lil sister'!

Always here...always will be
Jack

mleighin21st said...

Hey Allison,  You are one fortunate young(I say that because I'm 52) lady to have that kind of love in your life.  A true friend is someone who accepts you for who you are and I see alot of that here.  Be who you are, it's more about the heart than anything.
                                                   Hugz,  Leigh

stupidsheetguy said...

All I kept thinking as I read this entry was, "She is just such an incredible woman. Truly a beautiful Lady" and I mean that. You're 100% straightforward, honest and not afraid to be who you are. One of the great things about our lives in this country is that there is no "conventional", or "normal"; we have the freedom to explore what makes us happy, and we have the RIGHT to enjoy it.

You're such a good person, Allison. Good for you for having the character to speak your mind. I admire you a lot, and I think you know that! Luv ya